Friday Rant #9: Laziness pays off now

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I’m feeling lazy. Too lazy to write, but I love you, my readers, so I’m writing anyway.I’m not, however, going to feel guilty about not wanting to do much. I don’t need to be doing anything, really. If all I want to do is sit and ponder nothing in particular, then I will. Don’t tell me I’m wasting time, or that I could better spend the time doing something ‘useful.’ Laziness it’s a virtue or vice on it’s own. It’s laziness when you actually have legitimate demands placed on you that is unforgivable. I can’t say, “No, I’m much to lazy to help you not drown.” quite as easily as I can say, “No, I’m much to lazy to help you not fail the class you’ve been skipping.” One’s a legitimate demand (mostly, anyway. If it’s their own damn fault for drowning, not quite as much, but I am at least a little compassionate to someone who’s probably going to die) the other’s them being as lazy as I am. They don’t feel like really doing the work, so why should I do work to help them?Obviously, this can get rather unpopular, especially if you’ve let people walk over you in the past with guilt-inducing whines. Whining is a lazy act. It’s just making some weird high-pitched noise instead of doing the work to actually solve your problem. Therefore, anyone who whines when you don’t do something for them is lazier than you are, because they are so desparate to not do work they are soliciting others to do it for them. This usually means the work is important, and they have no reasonable justification of laziness. (Or really, expectation of the ability to be lazy.)If you notice this sounds a lot like the verbiage used to discuss expectations of privacy, then… well, good for you. I’m not talking about that. Or, I just sorta was, but I’m not anymore.…back on track. Laziness is without judgement. I can be a lazy programmer and be rewarded for it. (cf. Extreme Programming: “Do the least that can possibly work.”) I can be a lazy lifeguard and get sued for it. Just be careful what you’re lazy about, and you can proudly proclaim that you aren’t a(n American) workaholic. I know I’m not. (A workaholic. I am American.)

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